Hi.
Hi
...
still waiting
...
hello?
...
Colleague is typing...
Annoying, isn't it? You clicked on this article expecting something — a point, a question, an insight — and instead you got... nothing. Just a greeting and dead air.
Now you know exactly how it feels to receive this message at 2pm on a Tuesday:
them: Hi
you: ...
you: (stops what you're doing)
you: (waits)
you: (still waiting)
them: (typing...)
them: (stops typing)
them: (typing...)
them: How are you?
you: 🙃
The Timezone Tax
Here's one that'll make your eye twitch.
It's 5:30pm. You're wrapping up your day. A message pops in from a colleague who's five and a half hours behind you:
them (12:00 their time): Hi
You reply:
you (5:30pm): Hey, what's up?
They've gone to lunch. They come back:
them (1:00pm their time): Are you still around?
You've gone home. You see it next morning:
you (9:00am, next day): Yeah, I'm here. What do you need?
them (still asleep): ...
A question that would've taken 30 seconds to ask and 2 minutes to answer just became a 24-hour round trip. Because someone typed "Hi" and hit enter instead of typing "Hi — can you check if the auth service is returning 403s for the /users endpoint? Here's the trace ID: a]."
That's not politeness. That's a full business day in the bin.
"Good Morning!" ...At 9pm
This one's a personal favourite.
them: Good morning! 🌅
You look at your clock. It's 9pm. You've already had dinner. You're watching something. Your phone buzzes with a work notification that says good morning while you're in your pyjamas.
They didn't check your timezone. They didn't check your Slack status. They didn't check anything. They just broadcast a greeting into the void and waited for the void to respond.
And the greeting is wrong. It's not morning. It's not even close to morning. The message is empty AND inaccurate. A two-for-one special of not thinking it through.
The Typing Indicator of Doom
You know the one. You're deep in a problem. Flow state. The code is finally making sense. Then:
them: Hi
You glance at it. The typing indicator appears. Three little dots, bouncing. You wait. It stops. Starts again. Stops. Starts. You're now fully distracted, watching a tiny animation like it's a thriller movie.
Then finally:
them: How's it going?
That's it? You broke my concentration for a vibe check? The actual question — if there even is one — is still three messages away. Your flow state is gone. That bug you were about to crack? It'll take you 23 minutes to get back into it. Not my number — that's from UC Irvine research.
The Irony We Don't Talk About
We've all shared the meme. We've all nodded along. "This meeting could've been an email." It's practically a personality trait at this point.
But here's the thing nobody says out loud: we then send messages that aren't even complete.
We complain about 30-minute meetings that waste our time, and then we send a "Hi" that wastes someone's time in a slower, more agonising way — because now they're stuck in limbo, unable to help, unable to ignore, just... waiting for you to finish your thought.
At least the unnecessary meeting had an agenda. Your "Hi" has nothing.
Someone Already Nailed This
I'm not the first person to be annoyed by this. There's an entire website dedicated to it. Take a minute — seriously, scroll through it:
Can't see it? Visit nohello.net directly
Do You Feel It Now?
If you've been nodding along this whole time — welcome. You're not crazy. You're not "difficult." You're not "bad at small talk." Your frustration is valid, and it costs real time, real focus, and real productivity. Every single day.
And if you're reading this thinking "wait... I do this" — remember the top of this article? That empty space? That wait? That feeling of "get to the point already"?
That's what you're doing to people. Every. Single. Time.
You're not a bad person. You're probably trying to be polite. But in async communication, a bare "Hi" isn't polite — it's a hostage situation. You're holding someone's attention captive until you decide to finish your thought.
"But What Do I Do When Someone Just Says Hi?"
This is the real question, isn't it? You know it's a problem. You've wanted to say something. But you don't want to be that person — the one who sends a passive-aggressive link to a website about chat etiquette.
Here's your toolkit. Tested in the wild. Zero friendships harmed.
The Genuine One — simple, warm, and means it:
"Hello, how can I be of help?"
Sounds friendly. Is friendly. Because it genuinely is — you're signalling that you're available, you're willing to help, and you're ready for meaningful work together. But it also subtly says "I'm not going to guess what you want — the ball is in your court." Works every time.
The Friendly Nudge — reply with warmth, plant the seed:
"Hey! What's up? (Pro tip for next time — feel free to drop your question straight away, I might be in a meeting but can get back to you faster that way 😊)"
The Busy Redirect — honest and practical:
"Hi! I'm in and out of meetings today — drop your question and I'll get to it as soon as I can!"
The Status Move — let your status do the talking:
💬 "Skip the hello — just ask! I'll reply faster."
🎧 "In focus mode — drop your question, I'll get back to you."
The Nuclear Option — send them this article:
"Hey, have you seen this? [link to this post] — it changed how I message people at work. Thought you might find it useful!"
That's literally why this post exists. You're welcome.
And look — you're not being rude by doing any of this. You're being respectful of everyone's time. Including theirs. Because the faster they ask, the faster they get an answer. Everyone wins.
The One Thing
Next time you open a chat window, just say what you need. All of it. In one message. Greeting included if you want — nobody's banning politeness. Just don't make it the entire message.
"Hi"✅ "Hey! Quick one — is the deployment pipeline stuck or is it just me? I'm seeing this error:
timeout on stage 3. Here's the build link: [link]"
Your future self — and everyone else's — will thank you.
If this resonated, share it. If it called you out, you're welcome. Either way, go update your Slack status.
References
- Gloria Mark, Daniela Gudith, Ulrich Klocke. "The Cost of Interrupted Work: More Speed and Stress" — CHI 2008, ACM Conference on Human Factors in Computing Systems.